Monday, February 1, 2016

Toothpaste and Hairspray.

I feel like I read way to many articles on "what it is to be a mother" these articles are always from the mothers view, because we are so trapped in being in the here and now. Instead of that I would like to say what my mother was to me. My only disclosure to this is that I probably had the best Mother of all time. To get this into perspective I have NEVER heard my mother say an ill word about anyone, except maybe that telemarketer that called right during family diner time. She is seriously an angel, and anyone that knows her would not argue.

Motherhood to me is simply being there. My Mom was always there for me, and not just in the sense that she was in the same room, she was absolutely present in my whole life.  She knew what I needed to thrive and that I needed to come home from school and let out all of my frustrations or concerns about the day, and for me she was there to listen, always. She never diminished my feelings. If I thought something was big she let it be big, even if it was just that my best friend was too busy to talk to me at lunch time, as upsetting as that was for teenage me, as an adult I know how insignificant that was in her world.

I love to think about who my mom was when I was my girls' age, all I remember is Love, that indescribable word, it is too much to be just a word. It is rough hands to the cheek from a well worked day of shampooing hair. The smell of toothpaste and hairspray as she kissed me goodbye for the day. Not to mention the fact I could always count on her to help me out when I forgot my school project or lunch at home for the third day in a row.

She never let me down, she was undeniably 100% mine.

I will tell you what I don't remember. I don't remember her ever being frustrated or yelling at my sister and I. Although she assures me that she did get frustrated, and she let us know those frustrations. I just can't remember them. It gives me solace knowing that I don't have to be perfect all the time to give my children the things they need, a little bit of discipline and a whole lot of LOVE.