Monday, February 1, 2016

Toothpaste and Hairspray.

I feel like I read way to many articles on "what it is to be a mother" these articles are always from the mothers view, because we are so trapped in being in the here and now. Instead of that I would like to say what my mother was to me. My only disclosure to this is that I probably had the best Mother of all time. To get this into perspective I have NEVER heard my mother say an ill word about anyone, except maybe that telemarketer that called right during family diner time. She is seriously an angel, and anyone that knows her would not argue.

Motherhood to me is simply being there. My Mom was always there for me, and not just in the sense that she was in the same room, she was absolutely present in my whole life.  She knew what I needed to thrive and that I needed to come home from school and let out all of my frustrations or concerns about the day, and for me she was there to listen, always. She never diminished my feelings. If I thought something was big she let it be big, even if it was just that my best friend was too busy to talk to me at lunch time, as upsetting as that was for teenage me, as an adult I know how insignificant that was in her world.

I love to think about who my mom was when I was my girls' age, all I remember is Love, that indescribable word, it is too much to be just a word. It is rough hands to the cheek from a well worked day of shampooing hair. The smell of toothpaste and hairspray as she kissed me goodbye for the day. Not to mention the fact I could always count on her to help me out when I forgot my school project or lunch at home for the third day in a row.

She never let me down, she was undeniably 100% mine.

I will tell you what I don't remember. I don't remember her ever being frustrated or yelling at my sister and I. Although she assures me that she did get frustrated, and she let us know those frustrations. I just can't remember them. It gives me solace knowing that I don't have to be perfect all the time to give my children the things they need, a little bit of discipline and a whole lot of LOVE.

Monday, January 25, 2016

A Glass of Sun-flu-ay

This last week was ridiculous, by the time I got to Friday, I was DONE! I was such a grouch on Friday night that at 9:00 I told the girls it was time for bed. I was met with resistance as I do most Friday nights. They like to stay up later because it is the weekend and they think they have the leverage of getting to sleep in on Saturdays. Most Friday nights they win, I don't really care if they stay up, but this night I was Grumpy and dog tired as I had been up since 4:30am. I had no patience left in me. So I barked, literally I sounded like an animal..."FINE IF YOU WON'T LET  ME TUCK YOU IN RIGHT NOW, YOU CAN DO IT YOUR SELF!" I softened just slightly "give me a kiss so I can go to bed!" I hear Matt rush in as I shut the door to my room. I hear him tell the girls that it would be ok to stay up and read for a bit but to absolutely not bother Mom -bless his heart he knows how to settle us all down when Mom gets crazy.

I woke up in a good mood Saturday. To precious little kisses all down my arm, it was the littlest little, Piper. She informed me I was not allowed to leave my bed, Paige was making me breakfast and it was a surprise.  I agreed to stay if she snuggled with me. I smelled toast. I was only slightly nervous of what my precious 8 year old might be making, but mostly excited to see her creativity come out in the kitchen. I would love nothing more than to raise two girls to be amazing in the kitchen, and to not be  too scared to veer from a recipe, and make something their own. Matt on the other hand was mostly just nervous she was going to make him Pickles with raspberry jam on it and a side of  Sun-flu-ay (which is what the girls have named pickle juice when you drink it out of a glass). Honestly his nervousness could have been justified, as she has a weird sense of taste. I told him what ever she makes eat it - even if it is gross.  It was a delicious breakfast of blueberry oatmeal, toast with raspberry jam, a glass of milk and a granola bar "if we were still hungry". I was stuffed and let her eat my granola bar. I see a chef in the making, as long as she keeps Sun-flu-ay off the menu.

Sunday, January 17, 2016

Back after a LONG time

I have recently decided that I should start blogging again. The kids are growing fast and I need to document all of their crazy antics so that I can have some awesome ammunition when they are teenagers. Right now life is hectic. Paige is 8 Piper is 5. I no longer have babies but I do have some AWESOME kids. They amaze me in so many ways every day. They are truly the light in my life - the bright spots in  my day that can melt away all of the pain and all of the stress.  Last year was probably the most trying year of my life - it felt like one thing after another was going wrong.

It started in January, My father in law had gotten very ill and was hospitalized with pneumonia, this was terrifying and Matt traveled down to Boise spending a week with his family as it had become so serious. While he was down there I found out we were going to be expecting our third child, it was a shock, as we were really not anticipating such news as we thought we were done having babies. We adjusted quickly knowing that a third baby would be a fun adventure, as we feel like we are doing a pretty good job at this Mom and Dad job that God has blessed us with. As blessed as this would make us we were still a little nervous of the extra everything this might mean.

March was the most trying month do date. March 21st I found out that the little life that was growing inside of me stopped. Just stopped. I was 11 weeks along, It was devastating and there are really no words to make it better. To be perfectly honest I felt like I already knew when I went into the Dr. that day, I had told Matt that we were probably going to get bad news that day. I had for a couple weeks felt very distant from my pregnancy.  It was a weird feeling that I had never experienced with either of the girls pregnancies. I have no other words for this other than, thank God for Matthew, Paige and Piper as they really helped me cope with this loss.

The next little bit is all a Blur. All of the sudden we were thrown into Donut season and spending so much time preparing every week for the next Saturday at the Farmers market.  -I love our little business but it is the most exhausting thing we do for sure!- In the midst of preparing for another season of Mini Donuts, my Mother called with the news that they were going to be putting Grandpa into an assisted living facility to witch bothered me a bit, but when it came down to it Grandma needed the help.

July, my father spent most of this month in the hospital with Pneumonia, this was one of the scariest parts of my year I was on edge for nearly three weeks praying he would come out of it and hoping I wouldn't have to make an emergency trip to the hospital.

October rolled around and the morning of the 19th I had just sat down to my desk at work and my cell phone rang. I thought how strange it was to be ringing at such an early hour since I start my work day at 6:30 am. When I dug through my bag to find my phone the screen lit up with my mothers face and I knew then that whatever the news was... it wasn't good news. I answered the phone "Hey mom, what's wrong?" she answered "We lost Grandpa last night" my heart instantly fell to my stomach. I still can't imagine never getting to hear another one of his stories. I wrote my memories of him and read them at his funeral. I think this must be how I cope with loss... is remembering who he was for me.

November Grammy, my Dad's Mother, had to have surgery to have her foot amputated. This was a smaller but still tragic loss,  I know that her foot was causing an awful amount of pain - but I still can't imagine having to live without a body part you have had for nearly 82 years. 

December was a wonderful month. we had a quiet yet wonderful Christmas here in Idaho Falls. I love being able to just be with the kids all day, and as selfish as it sounds, not having to share them on this day of the year. The girls get to play lazily all day with no hectic moments, while Matt and I get to Look upon them and truly feel and see how blessed we really are.

We celebrated our Christmas with our parents over the New year weekend. New years eve we got to see some old friends that we haven't got to sit and visit with in way to long, while my Mom and Dad had a pig out night with the girls. New years day we did Christmas with Matt's Folks and it was a wonderful night with good food and GREAT company, I love getting to spend time with my nieces and nephew. The 3rd we got to spend with My Mom and Dad, we did our Christmas different this year and in lieu of gifts for the adults this year we decided to have a fun day out, we choose bowling and the arcade with some amazing pizza to top the night off... it was a pretty wonderful trip to Boise. It really looked like 2016 was going to be a much better year then rotten old 2015.

I had not even been back three days when I was in one of the worst meetings of my career, I missed a phone call from my mother,  I was again worried, as she works later hours than me, and I am not accustomed to talking to her before 7 pm most weekdays. I shot her a text that I was in a meeting and would have to call her when it was over. I called her as soon as I got out, she said "are you home yet?" I replied, "No, not yet, I still need to pick up Piper and head to the bank, they pulled Daycare out of my check twice this pay-period so I need to deposit my reimbursement check, why what's up?" she replies, "call me when you are home and sitting down."  Well CRAP I thought, either they won the lotto or it is really bad news.

I called her when I got home, Grammy had Passed away that day, Pneumonia (I kind of HATE Pneumonia right now). I knew I probably wouldn't be able to make it down for her funeral, and that kind of killed me a little inside, but it was what it was, and the money for the plane ticket was more then I could put out,  So I wrote my Memories in an email and sent them to my parents, in hopes that they would enjoy it, and maybe share it with my close family back there. Mom did me one better and read it aloud at her funereal.

So, no more trials this year, the rest of this year is going to be amazing!!! I am going to keep this blog much more current so I don't have to write a long terribly boring story once a year.


Looking back at what this wonderful woman gave me is a hard task to do, as she gave me some of the most valuable things in life.  She taught me what was real in life, to always live my life as honestly as I possibly can, and that me just the way I am, is the me I should be.  She taught me that I will be far more loved and respected for NOT putting on a show, but just putting my true self out there - flaws and all - for everyone to see.  She taught all of us to be our most authentic selves always, as she was the perfect example if that.  She was nothing if she wasn't genuine.

She also taught me that every penny is worth saving, I remember saving my pennies all year so that when she would come visit we could sit at the dining room table and roll them all into some hefty spending money.  Most of my memories of Grammy revolved around the dining room table.  Word searches and Rummikub with a bowl of Cheetos and a diet Pepsi. She had the softest cheeks and I loved to kiss them, her skin always smelled warm and slightly sweet, I will miss that.

So to say her absence will be noticed is a harsh understatement.  She was a pillar in this family, she held us all up, and led by a real example of how people should be.  To my Father, Sister, Aunts, Uncle and Cousins, fret not - as she lives on in each one of us, running through our veins we keep he immortal.  So do her right and live your life as authentically and as exuberant as you can.


I have some wonderful memories of this man, nothing but happiness and laughter, hugs and giggles.  He was a giver by nature, he gave everything he had for his family and friends he was the pure definition of generosity.  He loved going out and gleaning the orchard and potato fields and sharing his bounty with family and friends. I grew up on the best applesauce ever made, his apple picking with Grandma's Kitchen skills provided my favorite comfort food to date.

He touched so many wonderful parts of my life.  One of my favorite things to do as a little one was ride on the fore-wheeler to go check gopher traps.  My favorite part was when we would get them back to the house and cut their tails off to put in a coffee can.  I was strange like that as a kid.

When I was 5 years old I was lucky enough to have this man in my life as he helped my dad put together a swing set for out back yard.  Dad drew up the plans, Grandpa Welded together a masterpiece that you couldn't get my sister and I off of in the summertime.  It was everything from a rocket ship to a princess castle in our eyes. With love and skill it was made, and now it still stands strong as my children have their own imagination to make it their Pirate ship or Rapunzel Tower.

My Favorite Memory of all was a fishing trip that my grandparents took my sister and I on when we were teenagers.  It is not just one of my favorite memories of my grandpa, but it is up there with one of my favorite memories of all time.  It was the day I saw what true love was.  Grandpa spent the majority of the day untangling the lines grinning at grandma stating "Looks like she is out fishing me again"  The whole day was a riot, Grandpa was good at pushing Grandma's buttons and Grandma was good at reacting, usually in frustration at first, then she would smile because that is just the way their marriage worked. A balance of laughter and love, what a wonderful day of fishing so we could eat cheeseburgers on the way home - and you know he probably had something to say about that.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Thursday, December 1, 2011

DIY Screenprinting?

 sounds too good to be true huh! at least that is what I thought, I am so lame... I said in my last blog that I wouldn't do another tutorial for a long time... so I lied.. this stuff is too good not to share.

Today I am going to haphazardly show you how to screen print your own t-shirts at home.

First things first, find a blank shirt. I made mine from a tutorial from the awesome blog "Made"  it is her 90 minute shirt, I love her style! I am sure we would be best friends if we ever met.  I got this tutorial from her as well. but I am writing it here too, mostly because I think that this at home "screen printing" might be my newest addiction!
Next you need to find a design you love, I love owls I think they are so super cute, so that is what I picked. Then you draw your design on the dull side of a piece of freezer paper. We all know from my last tutorial that is what i draw my patterns on so I just used a scrap from one of my patterns. When you are drawing out the stencil keep in mind of what you want to be the shirt color and what you want to be the paint color. then cut out all of the pieces that you are going to be painting. Lay the stencil down on the fabric where you want the design (glossy side down) and iron in to the shirt. Wha-La it is stuck!
 Fabric Paint, I got the tulip brand paint at Michael's for $1.69 and the paint brush was $.30 so this was pretty cheep to do. I picked white paint for the shirt to match the white trim. Paige was mad at me because she wanted me to use the pink paint. I told her next time.

Make sure when painting over your stencil that you don't go out side of the stencil, also I put a board in between the two layers of the shirt so had a hard surface behind it. I used two coats of paint to get it covered the way I wanted it. (but that is mostly preference)  let the paint dry at least an hour before applying your next coat. then when it is all dry to set the paint you need to use a hot Iron and Press it. Don't Iron directly over the image, I put a piece of parchment paper over the top of the design. There you have it your DIY screen print is Done! It is sure to bring out the lion in you.